The Biggest Myths About “The Perfect Relationship” By Dating Expert David DeAngelo
Have you ever seen that movie… the one about the awkward, desperate guy trying to win the heart of the cute, heart-of-gold girl?
You know the one: they don’t like each other at first… then they get together, break up, find each other again… until the credits roll over their wedding day and happily-ever-after?
Of course you’ve seen it – it’s basically EVERY movie about love and relationships ever made!
And here’s what I else I noticed these movies share in common:
They actually get everything backwards.
Yes, we all go through different phases with women… meeting, dating, relationships, marriage.
But the final scene is NOT a carefree joyride to happily-ever-after.
After spending years figuring out what works with women and dating, then finding my own perfect woman, working on our relationship, getting married, even starting a family… the biggest relationship “myths” like these became clear to me.
Most importantly: I discovered that believing these myths can only leads to pain and failure for the long term, and here’s why:
THE WHOLE GAME CHANGES WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS
When we begin a relationship, we need to leave behind the concepts and techniques that worked like magic for getting lots of dates, getting physical, etc. and start doing something entirely different…
In fact, we need to do the OPPOSITE.
As I learned the hard way after creating so much success with women and dating for myself (and for thousands of other guys), what works to get a woman’s attention and create attraction only leads to problems and failure when used within a relationship.
Instead, we must learn how to become flexible and adaptive to a unique situation, mastering our understanding and reactions to our feelings and to our partner’s.
That in mind…
Here they are… the biggest myths we need to blow up as we move from dating to creating our dream relationship with “the one”:
MYTH: ONCE YOU FIND THE “ONE LOVE”, LOVE BECOMES EASY
She’s our match and our soulmate… it should be smooth sailing once we’re with her, right?
After all, we’re a team, so we’ll function like one, practically reading each other’s minds and finishing each other’s sentences.
Truth is, some things do get easier in some ways, but they get harder in others. You become both more and less happy.
While she’s there to help you grow and share and support the highs in life, she can also become a “magnifier” of negative experiences, making problems and challenges seem worse or more painful.
It’s because deep relationships often trigger what’s called a “regression” pattern in a man. In other words, being with a high-quality woman often makes us start to feel and act like we did around our mom and our family. Remember that feeling?
I know… this is pretty heavy. Stay with me…
Simply put, as a relationship matures, part of us becomes a little more immature. As we bond and rely more deeply on our partner, we feel her criticisms, our own weaknesses, and conflicts much more deeply – almost like back when we were kids.
And that makes love harder.
Imagine life with your perfect partner. I bet one of the first things you picture is less conflict than you’ve had with any other woman.
Again, she’s the one… you share viewpoints and beliefs and interests and passions… so what’s to fight about?
Reality is, many couples report fighting MORE when a relationship begins, and here’s why:
Conflict and fighting is actually about wrangling for control. Once each person realizes this could be for the long-term, even a lifetime, they instinctively feel the need to “plant their flag” on issues, capturing territory so they don’t have to fight even harder for it later.
How could the stakes (and the potential for conflict) be any greater?
MYTH: HER LOVE WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER MAN
This one’s straight out of every flick since “Gone With The Wind”… or at least “Jerry Maguire”…
We believe our perfect mate will help us change, filling us up with light, making us feel great and freeing us to develop into our best, happiest self.
Reality is… a great relationship does bring out something better in you – but it also brings out some darker traits and feelings.
A relationship means you’re no longer alone in the driver’s seat – and that creates new insecurities and resentments. When you fight, thoughts like, “If she loves me so much, how can she say that? How can she do that? Why isn’t she putting me first?” bubble up.
These seeds of insecurity and resentment can then grow, making us feel WORSE as a man and partner, not better.
So don’t let them take root!
MYTH: YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT JUST THE TWO OF YOU
This is the biggest shocker of all…
We believe that when we enter into a relationship, all of that amazing intimacy is reserved exclusively for us, the two partners involved.
Reality is, our interaction within a deepening relationship is actually just PRACTICE for something entirely different… an endgame that nature has programmed us for, even if we don’t know it.
What is that endgame, you ask?
Hold onto something…
It’s the arrival of CHILDREN.
On some level, we know that a child may be the ultimate test of our relationship one day. And so, often unconsciously, we make our relationship a practice field… a testing ground for the rapid adjustment and adaptation that having a child requires.
We may even begin to act and react toward our partner as if they were actually that child!
But that’s not all bad… If you’re aware of it, when you feel love for your partner, you’ll know you’re also feeling the call of your future family. Use this knowledge – it’s an opportunity to prepare for conflict, to never freak out or become too aggressive.
Above all, take your knowledge of all these myths for what it is: a huge head start toward knowing what to expect – and how to deal – when it comes to creating the relationship of your dreams.
But like I said… it’s a journey to get there.
And, at this point, I’ve traveled most of those miles.
If you don’t want to waste precious time on all those wrong turns and dead-ends, please check out my Double Your Dating eBook. It’ll show you everything you’re doing wrong – and how to start doing everything RIGHT – to succeed in love like you never dreamed possible.
Oh… and did I mention it’s less than $15, with a money back GUARANTEE? So I hope you’ll start learning with me today.
Go here for more details: Double Your Dating Free Trial